Hello everyone. Are you ready for the two hour "John Cena Variety Show?" After last week's rating, I fully expect it.
RAW started with a recap of Big Show's path of destruction last week set to the ever dramatic music that the WWE finds. I guess it makes it more serious.
I Thought They Wanted People to Keep Watching the Show?
Michael Cole was in the ring and introduced John Cena. Cena came out his usual smiling self, like nothing happened two weeks ago. Cole ran down the victims of Big Show's carnage last week and blamed it all on John Cena. Cole said it was more important for Cena to be a comedian than support his friend the Big Show. Cole asked if Cena was proud of himself. Cena said Cole still has a collection of My Little Ponies so he is proud of himself. Cena called Laurinaitis power hungry and said his goal was to get rid of Laurinaitis and then a new GM would rehire Big Show. Cole said that was no guarantee, and Big Show did what he had to do to get his job back. Cole said Big Show will prove he is the better man at No Way Out. Cena called Big Show money hungry. Cole said Cena was jealous of Big Show and his Wrestlemania win, and at least Show wasn't a punching bag for Brock Lesnar. Cole called Cena over-rated and belittled Cena some more.
John Laurinaitis came out on his dope scooter. Seriously, where can I get a scooter like that? John Laurinaitis said Big Show chose his opponent last week, and now Cena can too. Laurinaitis said he is retired from one on one wrestling, and Big Show isn't here. Cena said this is the first good thing Laurinaitis has ever done. Cena picked Michael Cole as his opponent.
Segment Analysis: Okay, Cole wasn't bad here picking apart Cena's logic. Why would a new GM automatically hire Big Show back. Cole called Cena out on everything and Cena's response was weak, and when the first words out of Cena's mouth are "My Little Pony," you know it is going to be bad. And really? Michael Cole vs John Cena? Cole was just starting to get tolerable again and now they go back to this. Not the best of openings. Survey Says: 2/5
Well This Won't Make Him A Star
Vickie came out and introduced Dolph Ziggler before his match with Sheamus. The two exchanged some brief offense earlier before Sheamus hit a rolling senton. Sheamus charged at Dolph but Dolph pulled the rope down. Sheamus pulled Ziggler out of the ring onto the mat. Sheamus tried throwing Ziggler into the steps but Dolph jumped over them. Vickie distracted Sheamus outside, allowing Dolph to drop kick Sheamus onto the floor heading into commercial.
Back from break, Sheamus fought out of a headlock but Dolph caught him with a knee. Dolph reapplied the headlock. Sheamus fought out again and went to work with a high knee and running powerslam for two. Dolph caught Sheamus with a knee then a DDT for two. Dolph went to the top rope but Sheamus caught him with a punch. Dolph fought back with a couple of headbutts and caught Sheamus with a top rope fameasser for two. Dolph applied a sleeper, but Sheamus countered with White Noise. Sheamus connected with a Brogue Kick for the win.
After the match, Alberto del Rio attacked Sheamus on the ramp. Sheamus tried fighting back but Ricardo grabbed him. Del Rio applied the cross armbreaker as Sheamus was off the stage and Del Rio was.
Segment Analysis: Wait, wasn't last week suppose to be the start of a push for Dolph Ziggler? Oh, you mean the WWE doesn't remember that? I get Sheamus is the top guy on Smackdown, but they need to elevate stars as quickly as they can. Why not have Del Rio attack or distract Sheamus during the match and have Dolph pick up the win? Now Dolph becomes an afterthought in this entire thing. Seeing a more aggressive side to Alberto del Rio was nice. Survey Says: 2.5/5
Backstage, David Otunga said that on WWE.com it says Vince McMahon is returning next week to give John Laurinaitis a job evaluation. I guess Vince couldn't tell him backstage?
But Which Sin Cara Is It?????
Sin Cara vs Hunico. Sin Cara hit a couple high flying moves then jumped to the outside and hit a hurricarrana. Hunico slid out of a roll up and hit a kick to the head then a backbreaker before applying a chinlock. Sin Cara fought out and caught Hunico with a boot to the face in the corner then another hurricarrana. He hit a springboard elbow then the Kelly Kelly spinning hurricarrana for the win.
Segment Analysis: Something about Sin Cara's matches just doesn't translate well with me. It just seems too staged and not as high flying and quick paced as I like. He needs a program with someone too. He may be elevated up the card on Smackdown with Randy Orton gone. Survey Says: 2/5
RAW 1000 Moment; John Cena Drafted to RAW
Stan Stansky and Arthur Rosenberg cut a hilarious poem promo before their match with Ryback. Two is greater than one in case you didn't know. Ryback destroyed them with a corner splash then a double clothesline. He finished them off with a double backdrop. Who's next???
A.J. Just Digs All Sorts of Crazy
C.M. Punk came out for his match with Kane. Daniel Bryan came out. He said some question and answer time with Daniel Bryan was needed. Has A.J. gone dilusional? YES! Will Kane destroy C.M. Punk tonight? YES! Will he become WWE Champion at No Way Out? YES YES YES!
Kane and C.M. Punk locked up with Kane getting the upper hand. Punk caught a chraging Kane with a boot and clotheslined Kane to the outside. Punk then hit a suicide dive on Kane. Punk hit a crossbody for two. Kane caught Punk with a knee then a dropkick. Kane hit some elbows then a leg drop for two. C.M. Punk fought out of a submission hold with some elbows to the thigh. Punk hit some more kicks and charged at Kane, but Kane caught him and tossed him to the outside heading into commercial.
Back from break, Kane countered a sleeper with a backdrop then applied a chinlock. Kane went to the top but Punk knocked him down then connected with a high knee and bulldog. Punk couldn't get Kane up for the GTS and he countered with a big boot for two. Punk ducked a chokeslam attempt into a neckbreaker for two. Punk knocked Kane off the top rope and hit the Macho Man Elbow for two. Kane rolled to the outside and Punk hit a baseball slide. Kane countered and tossed Punk into the barricade. Punk tried getting back in the ring but Kane distracted the ref and Daniel Bryan caught him with some kicks. Punk caught Kane with a kick back in the ring.
A.J. ran to ringside and tried telling the ref what happened. Bryan asked what she was doing. Punk hit a suicide dive on Bryan, but Kane pulled Punk back in the ring and hit a chokeslam for the win. Kane stalked A.J. Bryan tried stopping her but Kane shrugged him off. A.J. smiled at Kane and he walked away.
Segment Analysis: Well, it got to where I thought it would go. A.J. has completely gone psycho and now will have Kane on her tails. I don't know where this will end, but you have to assume A.J. will help whoever win the match at No Way Out. Kane picks up his win here, which I'm actually fine with. The match was a decent TV match, and Kane picking up wins going into No Way Out means he probably isn't winning at No Way Out, which is all I care about in the end. Survey Says: 3/5
Josh Matthews asked A.J. what was up with the look she gave Kane. A.J. said guys like it, and don't all men enjoy aggressive girls? She hit on Josh and said he might be her type.
They aired a sit down interview package similar to what they did with Brock Lesnar.
What Is Selling?
Kofi Kingston and R-Truth came out, then back from commercial we were mid match with Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins. After the heels worked over R-Truth Kofi eventually got the hot tag and hit his normal high flying offense. Reks broke up a pin attempt. Hawkins missed a dive in the corner and Kofi connected on Trouble in Paradise for the win.
Segment Analysis: With the tag champs all taped up, it would have been nice to see them sell their injuries a bit more and give Reks and Hawkins a win here. But nope. Survey Says: 2/5
RAW Moment: HHH Returns at Madison Square Garden.
Kids: BE A STAR!
After John Cena came out, John Laurinaitis did as well. He said people want to see Michael Cole vs John Cena, but Laurinaitis always over delivers. There match will be No DQ, if Cena beats Tensai. Tensai took it to Cena early. Cena fought back with punches then clotheslined Tensai to the outside. Cena went outside and Tensai distracted the ref allowing Sakamoto to get some kicks in on Cena. Tensai had a chinlock applied back from break then hit his corner splash. Cena hit a bulldog but Tensai caught Cena again with a sitting armbreaker. They went to the outside where Tensai hit Cena's head on the table and tossed him into the steps. Cena got back in the ring before the ten count, but Tensai hit a reverse powerbomb for two. Tensai missed his running back splash and Cena went into CENA MODE!!! It finished with Cena hitting the Attitude Adjustment for the win.
Cole watched on in fear as the referee rang the bell. Cole tried escaping through the crowd but Cena stopped him and brought Cole back to the ring. Cole pleaded with Cena. He said they are friends and go back and they can shake hands like friends do. Cole finally snapped and said he was going to kick Cena's ass. But Cena knocked Cole down and then ripped off his pants and shirt. Cena made Cole apologize to Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross, then put BBQ sauce all over him. Cena used a fire extinguisher on Cole and went for the AA but Tensai hit a chokeslam. Cole only picked up a two count. Cole charged at Cena with a fire extinguisher but Cena hit the AA for the win.
Segment Analysis: Jerry Lawler gave it an A+. I give it an F-. The sad part is that probably did a good rating. But that definitely goes against the whole B.A. Star campaign. Cena bullying Cole like that. A bad ending to an already less than average RAW. Survey Says: 1/5
OVERALL
Quite the below average RAW. The only thing I actually liked was the C.M. Punk/Daniel Bryan/Kane/A.J. stuff. Everything else was okay to below average to horrible, like the ending of the show. That was just a complete mess and waste of time. The whole heel Michael Cole act has been dead for a long time now. Like I said earlier, he was tolerable again before this crap. Then the WWE decides to just make Dolph Ziggler an afterthought after making it seem like they were ready to get behind him last week. Everything else just had no substance to it and seemed like filler segments. Not a good show. I'm giving it a 3. Cole was good in the opening and I liked the WWE Title stuff. Hot damn does A.J. have that adorable look down.
And remember kids: It is okay to be a bully as long as you have people watching you.
Until Next Time,
Justin C
Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka
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