Monday, May 7, 2012

The RAW Truth Review for 5/7/12

Sadly, I don't know if this show will be starring Brock Lesnar.

We Want An Ace Crusher
RAW started with a recap of John Laurinaitis beatdown of John Cena last week, then Laurinaitis came out. He said no one will challenge his authority. He said at Over the Limit he will continue what Brock Lesnar did, and he will humble Cena. Laurinaitis said the WWE Board of Directors knows he is tough but fair, and that is why John Cena is not here and why he wasn't punished. But in the spirit of "People Power," John Cena will do an interview live via satellite and will apologize for making fun of John's voice. He put everyone on notice. He said he was the greatest wrestler in Japan and showed pictures of him wrestling. He said his match with Cena will be bigger than Rock/Cena or Brock/Cena. He wished John Cena the best.

C.M. Punk came out. Punk said Laurinaitis didn't have a clue what the people actually wanted. Punk said he would help him. Punk said the people didn't want to see John Laurinaitis every week. Punk said all of this is about Laurinaitis putting his chips all in on Brock Lesnar, then Cena beating him. He said Laurinaitis picked the bones of an all ready beat John Cena. He said Laurinaitis had to wrestle in Japan because no one in America wanted to see him wrestle. He left a joke and is still a joke. Laurinaitis asked if he was finished. Punk asked the crowd and they said no. Punk said Laurinaitis is ugly and has no friends. Laurinaitis said if he wasn't training for John Cena he would pummel Punk. Laurinaitis said tonight Punk would face Lord Tensai. Punk said that's fine, he just can't wait to see Cena twist Laurinaitis into a pretzel.

Segment Analysis: We were due for our monthly Punk/Laurinaitis promo. Punk needed to come out sooner, because Laurinaitis promo was dragging. Its fun to make fun of his terrible promo work, but if it goes on too long it feels like its dragging. Punk was alright with his typical bashing of Ace, but there was nothing new. Survey Says: 3/5

John Laurinaitis bumped into Big Show while texting. He yelled at Show, then Show made fun of Laurinaitis voice. Eve heard from behind.

I Wear Glasses, I Must Be Smart
Intercontinental Title rematch from Extreme Rules. Show connected on some chops early. Cody eventually walked out and left, getting counted out. Eve came out. She told Big Show to apologize for making fun of John Laurinaitis voice. He said sorry. Eve said to apologize and not say sorry, and that there aren't too many places that need a 7'0 400 pound freak. Show apologized again.

Segment Analysis: So now we are concerned about Laurinaitis voice? This is the centerpiece of the show? Survey Says: 1.5/5

Tag Teams? What Are They?
Kofi vs Dolph here. Dolph ducked Kofi in the corner and hit a roll up for two. He connected on a dropkick then applied a headlock. Kofi fought out, and then Kofi ducked a diving Dolph. A.W. watched on with Primo, Epico, Rosa, and Mason Ryan. WTF? Kofi hit a couple dropkicks then the Boom Drop. Kofi charged at Jack Swagger on the apron, but Kofi hit the SOS. Dolph kicked out at two. Kofi went to the top, but Swagger tripped Kofi. Dolph hit the ZigZag for the win.

Segment Analysis: Too short to amount to anything. I guess they are trying to build a tag team division now? Maybe they should give them some time for some matches then. Nice to see Dolph not job. Survey Says: 2/5

Live Via Satellite? John Cena, You My Friend Are A Hypocrite
Michael Cole was in ring to interview John Cena via satellite. He thanked the WWE Universe for their support. He said he is medically cleared but there are doctors who said he shouldn't compete for the next few months. Cena said they don't know him and he won't listen. Cena said he didn't care that the Board didn't suspend Laurinaitis, because he wants to beat his ass at Over the Limit. Cole asked Cena if he was scared of Laurinaitis. Cena said he's scared that Laurinaitis is so bad that he will hurt himself before Over the Limit. Cena said in 13 days, he will kick John Laurinaitis ass.

Segment Analysis: Um, I don't know what the point of that was. Short Cena promo that got to the point. I still think Cena gets some time off soon. It just seemed weird and out of place, don't know why. I just didn't think there was too much of a point to it. Survey Says: 2.5/5

Layla and Kelly Kelly beat Maxine and Natalya. Its Layla/Beth Phoenix at Over the Limit.

Alberto del Rio/Chris Jericho vs Sheamus/Randy Orton. Orton and Del Rio started. Del Rio got the upper hand on Orton then tagged in Jericho. Jericho threw Orton into the corner but Orton bounced right off and hit a clothesline. Orton tagged in Sheamus and he connected on some knees. Sheamus hit an elbow, but Jericho caught Sheamus with a kick in the corner. Sheamus then caught Jericho and threw him on the apron and hit his chest punches. Jericho countered Sheamus and threw him into the ring post, then Del Rio hit a kick on the outside into commercial.

Back from break Jericho was working over Sheamus bad left shoulder. Sheamus fought out by backing Jericho into the corner and connecting on some elbows and a clothesline. Both men made tags. Orton went into Orton mode on Del Rio. Orton hit his DDT on Del Rio. Ricardo distracted the referee and Del Rio hit a kick to the head on Orton. Jericho was tagged in. Orton hit a dropkick on him but Jericho regained control with a dropkick of his own. Orton hit a backdrop then applied a head lock. Orton countered with a roll up for two but Jericho came right back with an enzuguri. He tagged in Del Rio. Del Rio applied an arm bar but Orton countered with his neckbreaker/backbreaker combo. Both men made tags. Sheamus countered a Walls attempt then hit the Irish Curse backbreaker. Del Rio broke up the pin attempt. Orton hit the RKO on Del Rio. Jericho ducked a Brogue Kick and accidentally hit Orton with it. Jericho hit the Codebreaker for the win.

Segment Analysis: That was a fun match with a weird outcome. The post match seemed to be building towards the possibility of a Fatal 4 Way. I don't know if Orton or Sheamus would turn heel, but if they are they planted some seeds tonight. It was a good match and I'm interested to see where all four of these men go from here. Survey Says: 3.5/5

Backstage, Eve said she was going to talk to Big Show about his insincere apology. All four guys from the tag match appeared and started brawling in Ace's office. He made the World Title match a Fatal 4 Way at Over the Limit.

Miz Putting Up A Fight? What?
Miz came out to face Brodus Clay. He complained about fighting Clay. Miz said if he wanted to see King Hippo dance he would play Mike Tyson Knockout. Miz said after this match, he wants Brodus to call his mom and tell him that he's the Miz and he's awesome. Brodus knocked Miz outside and chased him around. Miz hit some kicks in the ring. Miz hit his corner clothesline and a top rope axe handle for two. Miz applied a headlock which Brodus broke up by backing Miz into the corner. Miz countered with a DDT for two. Miz ducked a clothesline and hit a dropkick to the knee and high knee to the jaw. Brodus fought out of another headlock. Brodus ate a boot to the head, but caught Miz with a suplex. He then hit his splash for the win.

Segment Analysis: Hey, at least the Miz put up a fight. But can we please give Brodus some sort of program now? He needs something soon. Survey Says: 2.5/5

Hire This Man
HHH apparently has a broken arm and muscle damage. Brock Lesnar sent his legal representatives to speak for him. Out came Paul Heyman. Heyman said people have not cared about Brock since Day One. He said today's WWE is different than what it was ten years ago. Heyman said everything John Laurinaitis agreed too was on national television and everyone saw it. Heyman said Brock feels betrayed and he shouldn't have to feel that way. Heyman listed all of Brock's accomplishments. Heyman read a statement from Brock Lesnar. It talked about Lesnar bringing legitimacy to the WWE. It said that HHH always was jealous of him, and it said Brock is never coming back because he quits.

Segment Analysis: Well, I'm sure it will get people talking. Obviously we know Brock will be back sooner or later. I guess whenever he comes back now will just be more of a surprise. Paul Heyman needs to be brought back full time. I know some of the WWE's higher-ups don't like him, but the man is a great promo and could be a great mouthpiece for Brock. I expect Brock back sometime in June. If not then, after Money in the Bank. Survey Says: 4/5

Big Show was chatting it up with the guys from USA's Common Law. Then Eve heard showed up cuz they were making fun her.

Can We Just Call Him Albert Already?
C.M. Punk came out. John Laurinaitis interrupted and said he would have a handicap match with Lord Tensai and Daniel Bryan. Cole spoiled that before the break. Tensai and Bryan were already in the ring back from break. Tensai worked over Punk early then tagged in Daniel Bryan who connected on some kicks. The two hit a double crossbody that knocked them both down. Bryan tagged in Tensai. Tensai applied a chinlock and tossed Punk to the outside. Tensai rammed Punk into the post. Tensai applied a nerve hold back in the ring. Tensai hit his back splash then tagged in Bryan. Bryan went to the top but Punk moved. Punk catapulted Bryan into the corner then hit some clotheslines. Punk connected on a neckbreaker then his running high knee and bulldog. Bryan countered out of the GTS then Tensai made a blind tag. Punk clotheslined Bryan to the outside then Tensai hit a clothesline. Punk countered with a kick. He went to the top. Sakamura distracted the referee and Bryan knocked Punk off the top. Tensai hit his chokeslam power bomb then applied his claw for the pinfall win.

Daniel Bryan attacked after the match and applied the YES Lock.

Segment Analysis: Lord Tensai just isn't getting over. The WWE can put him in all of the main events they want, I don't see his gimmick getting over anytime soon. Tensai's sit chokeslam powerbomb was botched. The match just didn't click well and the crowd was dead, as they have been all night. Survey Says: 3/5

Another average to slightly above average RAW. The first hour was kind of flat but the second hour was a bit better. Liked the tag match in the middle and am glad to see a Fatal 4 Way at Over the Limit. It should be a a good match. Lesnar quitting the WWE is a way to keep him off TV for a while until they build to HHH/Lesnar at SummerSlam. Seeing Paul Heyman back was great and he showed why he should be a full time manager/authority figure. The guy can talk and get things over. Lord Tensai is getting really boring to me and I don't care about him as much as I did when he debuted. I'm going to give the show a 6. Nothing else newsworthy really happened.

And remember kids, don't make fun of your bosses voice at work. I'm sure you won't have someone as good looking as Eve to answer to if you do.

Until Next Time,
Justin C
Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka

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