Monday, December 12, 2011

RAW Thoughts for 12/12/11

Maybe They Are Getting the Worst Out of the Way First

The first Slammy was for the "Tell Me I Did Not Just See That!" Award. Booker T was out first, followed by Hornswoggle sporting an afro? Hornswoggle talked like a black man from the hood. Jim Ross Dancing won. Michael Cole interrupted J.R.'s victory speech. Cole said all J.R. did was get "jiggly with it" because his fat was flopping around. Booker T called Cole a loser and suggested Ross and Cole have a rap off. Cole went first: My name is Cole. That's my name. I'm like J.R. but even smaller. I went to Wrestlemania and beat Jerry Lawler. I tried to keep up but it got stupid. Cole called J.R. a tub of goo and said he just got schooled. J.R. called Cole a fool and said Cole kissed Lawler's feet and can now kiss his ass. Ross "won" and kept the Slammy. Booker T did a Spinarooni, then Ross did a J.R.-a-rooni. The Slammys are off to a great start.... Survey Says: 1/5

Wade Barrett! I Told You This Would Get Better!
Ted DiBiase and Mick Foley were out for the "HOLY @#!*" Award. Big Show and Mark Henry won for their ring explosion at Vengeance. Big Show came out to accept. He said the World Title would look nice next to the Slammy. Show went to the ring for a match with Wade Barrett. Barrett said giving out that award was premature, because what he is going to do to Randy Orton at TLC will be just as shocking. Barrett told Show he better hope he doesn't win the World Title, because if he does, the Barrett Barrage will take him out next. It was nice to see Barrett get some mic time there.

Back from break the match already started. Show shoulder tackled Barrett then put him out of the ring. Barrett shoved Show into the ring post outside. Barrett went to jump off the top, but Show broke the table with his fist. Show slapped Barrett back into the ring. Barrett grabbed a chair, and show punched it. Barrett was DQ'd. Well, you knew Barrett wasn't going over and neither was Big Show. Best finish I guess. But still not great. Survey Says: 1.5/5

Road Dogg came out next. He did the classic New Age Outlaws entrance. Time to award "Pipe Bomb" of the Year. C.M. Punk of course won. He brought out a model dummy that had a Dynamic Dudes t-shirt, John Laurinaitis former tag team. Punk said there is a man backstage that is boring, non-descript, and so bland that he doesn't get the credit he deserves. Punk played a John Laurinaits "tribute" video, with clips of him from the WWE and his time as a WCW wrestler. Funny stuff.

Lita came out to award the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Kelly Kelly won for winning the Divas Title. Beth Phoenix and Natalya came out. Beth took the award, but Kelly slapped her and took it back. Ok.

HHH Buries the Slammys
Next was the OMG Moment of the Year. How is this different from the "Holy #$@*" Moment? Santino and the Bellas came out to present. HHH tomb-stoning The Undertaker at Wrestlemania won. HHH came out with a sledgehammer in toe. He completely ignored the award. See, the Slammys don't matter. HHH said the "OMG" moment actually took place at Wrestlemania when Undertaker was taken off on a cart while HHH walked away. That's when the streak ended. HHH then replayed Nash's attack on him. HHH said this Sunday is doesn't matter who is right or wrong in their argument. HHH said at TLC, he's getting the sledgehammer because he is right. HHH said this Sunday, he will show the world that he is right, and that Nash is done. HHH scared poor Santino off and still didn't take the Slammy. HHH's promo didn't really sell me on anything. I don't want to all of the sudden by TLC on Sunday because of it. Survey Says: 2/5

Now We're Suppose to Believe Slammys Mean More Than A Match???
Next up is "Trending Superstar" of the Year, presented by David Otunga and Tony Atlas. Atlas continuously laughed at Otunga. Apparently the four nominees will fight in a Fatal 4 Way. Whoever is trending afterwards wins the award. It's Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan, Zack Ryder, and Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler and Rhodes were dumped to the outside. Bryan hit a dive and Ryder hit a backflip to the outside going into the break. It was Ryder and Bryan back from break. Ryder hit the kick in the corner for two. They collided for a double cross body for two. The heels took control and agreed to work together. Ziggler drop kicked Bryan in the back of the head. He went for a pin, but Rhodes pushed him off. Rhodes and Ziggler argued. Bryan got a school boy for two. Rhodes and Bryan had a pinfall exchange. Ziggler and Cody fought. Cody hit an Alabama Slam for two.

Back from break, Rhodes had Ryder in the figure four. Ryder got out of it. Ziggler broke up Ryder's kick to the corner on Rhodes. A 3 way clothesline had everyone down. Bryan broke up a Cody punfall. Bryan hit a series of kicks on Rhodes in the corner than a dropkick. Bryan went to the top but Cody countered. Ryder ducked Ziggler. Ziggler and Cody each hit superplexes. Cody and Dolph exchanged punches. Cody lifted Ryder over, allowing Ryder to hit the Rough Ryder. Cody hit Dream Street on Ryder. Bryan went for the LaBell Lock on Cody, but Ziggler broke it up. Ziggler eventually hit the ZigZag for the win. That was a really good match. Ryder won the award, but ate a ZigZag as Dolph took the award. Match made up for the stupid award. Survey Says: 3.5/5

Next Award: Game Changer of the Year, presented by Christian. Christian wanted to present Courageous Person of the Year to him, just for being out their for still being injured. The winner was The Rock challenging John Cena to fight at Wrestlemania next year. Cena accepted the award. He then introduced The Rock, who didn't show up. Cena said he thought The Rock was never leaving. Cena then said that's right, this is when we introduces a video clip. Cena said he knew Rock would see this, and it would motivate him to put more "Boots to Asses." Cena said that him and Rock would make history at Wrestlemania.

Oh No! The Heels Are Teaming Up To Take Out the Face WWE Champion!
Tag match next. Miz/Del Rio vs Orton/Punk. Lawler and Cole talked about how Punk doesn't have to be pinned this Sunday to lose the WWE Title. No crap, because its a LADDER MATCH! Punk and Orton worked over Miz. Miz eventually hit a DDT to gain control. Orton started punching back but Miz hit a kick. Miz locked in a sleeper. Orton fought out with a back drop. Both men tagged in their partners. Punk hit a knee to the face then a bulldog for two. Punk went for a GTS, but ADR fought out, allowing Miz to hit a neckbreaker on Punk on the ropes. Miz had Punk in a chin lock back from break. Punk countered into a back slide for two, but Miz countered with a clothesline. Del Rio tagged in and worked over Punk's arm. Punk countered with an arm drag. ADR got to Miz before Punk could make the tag. As Punk crawled to make the tag, Wade Barrett came from the crowd and took Orton off the apron. Miz was able to counter a GTS attempt into a Skull Crushing Finale for the win. Afterward, ADR and Miz worked over Punk with a ladder. Ok match, decent push for the match at the PPV. Survey Says: 2.5/5

Goldust and Vickie Guerrero came out to present the "A-Lister" of the Year Award. Snooki won over the Muppets? BS!

Sheamus came out for a match with Jinder Mahal. Mahal was speaking Indian or something, so Sheamus hit him with a Brogue Kick before the match even started.

Rey Mysterio came out to present SuperStar of the Year. C.M. Punk won. John Laurinaitis came out. He accepted the award on behalf of Punk, who was in the back getting treatment for the beating he took earlier.

As Mark Henry walked backstage, the 2012 video interrupted. It talked about how "she" will control his return.

The Return of The Mask!
Main Event time. Henry over powered Cena by shoving him into the corner before going to break. Henry worked over Cena but missed a splash. Cena went for a bodyslam but coudn't lift Henry. Cena fought out of a chinlock. Cena hit the Five Knucke Shuffle, but again Cena couldn't lift Henry for the AA. Henry locked Cena in a bear hug. Henry hit a World's Strongest Slam. Suddenly, fire exploded on the stage and Kane's music hit. Kane came out in new attire and a mask similar to something a guy working with a blow torch would. He walked to the ring as Henry bailed. Cena walked right into him and received a chokeslam. Kane then took off the mask to reveal in old Kane mask, the one he wore as a face with the chin part cut out. So, no hype for the PPV to close the show Sunday? They couldn't have waited a week for that? And why is Kane not mad at Mark Henry? Survey Says: 2/5

Continuing with the Slammy Award trend, this wasn't that great of an episode of RAW. The Kane return could have been saved for next week and they could have hyped the TLC PPV at the end. I'm curious to see what the Kane return leads to. The build that they did use for the PPV was good. The four way match was the most entertaining match on the show. Nobody in the crowd really cared about the Slammy Awards, and I don't think anyone watching did either. HHH essentially buried the award when he walked away without taking his. Speaking of HHH, they did a horrible job of making me care about HHH/Nash for this Sunday. A below average show that is typical when it comes to the Slammys. I'm giving it a 4.

And remember kids, wearing a mask is always cooler than being bald.

Until Next Time
Justin C
Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka

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