Some guy named The Rock tonight is appearing to call out John Cena. Wonder if it will be any good.
More Jericho/Punk Promos Please
After recapping Cena's promo last week we find out we are getting a Champion vs Champion re-match. After Punk came out, Chris Jericho interrupted. Jericho asked Punk if he was expecting someone else. Jericho said what he had to say was more important than his match. Jericho said Punk is a good performer but not as good as him. Jericho said Punk isn't the best in the world. Other people would say it for him. He didn't have to write in on a shirt. Jericho said he was part of a different breed. A breed that worked their way up from different parts around the world. A breed that didn't care about backstage politics. And while that got him a bad reputation he didn't care, because he knew he was the best. Jericho said Punk is just like him, a rebel who stood against the grain. Just like Jericho. Punk is a Jericho wannabe.
Punk interrupted. He said everyone knows how good he is. Punk said he's never stolen everything from him. He worked just as hard to get to where he was. Punk said Bret Hart used to call himself the best before any of them. Punk asked if Jericho told Bret that when he was two. He asked if he invented Bret Hart and Canada. Jericho said he's been the best in the business for years. He's beaten multiple Hall of Famers. Jericho said that the Best in the World is standing right in front of him. Punk said Jericho's words supreme superiority, but his words scream inferiority. Punk asked if Jericho is trying to prove to himself that he is the best. Punk said Jericho's confidence is being replaced with jealousy. Punk surpassed everything Jericho did. Punk said this is who he is and this is what he does while Jericho chooses to be a radio host and be a rock star. Punk is here every week swimming with sharks while Jericho is dancing with stars.
Jericho said that whole time he kept thinking about Punk ripping him off. Jericho said all the vignettes and sparkly jackets were just for him to comeback and embarrass Punk at Wrestlemania and prove that he is the best in the world at what he does. Punk said all Jericho had to do was grab him and say you and me, best in the world vs best in the world at Wrestlemania. Punk said they don't need anything flashy, just the two of them in the ring. Punk said that when Jericho is looking back at Punk on the ramp with his WWE Title, it will be the end of his world.
Segment Analysis: Now that is how you get people interested in a Wrestlemania program. It is what we have been waiting for from these two now for weeks. Jericho and Punk are two of the best mic workers in the business and they proved it there. Jericho has some argument about Punk stealing his stuff, but Punk is right when he says that he went through everything to get where he is today, and he has every right to call himself the Best in the World. Just a great opening that makes you want to see these two go at it at Wrestlemania. Survey Says: 4/5
Now Hold On A Minute Playa!
Daniel Bryan came out for his match with Punk, and Bryan jumped Punk before the match. Punk got the upper hand and tossed Bryan to the outside heading into a commercial. Back from break Punk got some kicks in on Bryan, He hit a flying crossbody for two. Bryan caught Punk with a kick and took control. Bryan hit some kicks to Punk's back. Punk ducked a kick and landed some kicks of his own. Punk tossed Bryan over the top rope. Bryan signaled A.J. over to check on him, which stopped Punk from hitting a suicide dive. Bryan then caught Punk on the outside and tossed Punk into the steps. Back from break Bryan had Punk in an abdominal stretch. Bryan charged Punk in the corner but Punk moved. Punk hit some high kicks, then a knee to the chin and a swinging neckbreaker. Punk hit a running high knee. Bryan countered the running bulldog, but Punk bodyslammed him and hit the Macho Man Elbow.
Otunga distracted Punk. Bryan went for the LaBell Lock but Punk countered out, then both hit crossbodies and went down. Otunga got on the apron again, but Santino hit the Cobra. Laurinaitis pulled Santino off and him and Teddy Long argued outside. Bryan tried leaving, but Sheamus threw him back in. Punk was gonna go for the pin, but Laurinaitis stopped him and called for the bell. Laurinaitis and Long argued, with Long shoving down Laurinaitis. They continued to argue as Punk left, but he was attacked by Jericho on the ramp. Jericho bodyslammed him on the stage and then locked in the Walls of Jericho. Jericho posed with the WWE Title.
Segment Analysis: They threw a whole lot in there. Someday, presumably on a PPV, we will get a conclusion to the Punk/Bryan match. Both men continue to put on good work in the ring, but it is getting a bit annoying when you think both Champions are being used to further a GM vs GM storyline. Hopefully it is just Santino/Otunga at Mania, and it doesn't replace MITB. With Jericho leaving you expected him to come back and get the last laugh. Good stuff. Survey Says: 4/5
They showed a recap video of last year's Taker/HHH match with wrestlers' perspectives.
Kelly Kelly beat one of the Bellas with a roll up.
This Match Once Main Evented Wrestlemania
Cena came out for his match with Miz. Miz talked about how he worked so hard this year, but his name has yet to be called upon this year for Wrestlemania. Miz said everyone would love it if he wasn't on Wrestlemania. He was going to prove to everyone he is Wrestlemania worthy. Cena took it to Miz early. Miz fought back with a knee to the head. Miz backdropped Cena then hit a clothesline. Miz countered out of a suplex then hit a DDT for two. Miz hit his corner clothesline. He went to the top but Cena moved and went into CENA MODE!!!! Five Knuckle Shuffle, Attitude Adjustment, STF for the tap out win. As Cena celebrated they showed Rock watching Cena in the back.
Segment Analysis: Remember when this match was the main event of last year's Wrestlemania? Yeah, now it is a 6 minute squash match. Miz's star has fallen so far that I don't know if there is anyway it can be brought back up. What could they honestly do to make me care about him again? Cena was typical nonchalant, I don't care about anything cause I'm smiling Cena. Survey Says: 2.5/5
Just When The Tag Division Is Getting Some Attention...
So apparently this is a Triple Threat Tag Title Match. Three men in the ring at once. Primo and Epico vs Kofi/Truth vs Dolph/Swagger. R-Truth took out Dolph. Swagger tackled Kofi to the outside heading into the break. Back from break, Primo and R-Truth fought as Swagger watched on. Truth then hit a DDT on Dolph and Primo. All three men tagged in their partners. Epico and Swagger argued as Kofi hit his normal offense on Swagger. Kofi bodyslammed Epico on Swagger and hit double boom drop. Ziggler caught Kofi from behind, then was clotheslined outside by Truth. Swagger locked in the ankle lock on Epico. Kofi broke it up with the Boom Drop. Primo hit the backstabber on Kofi then pinned Swagger for the win.
Out of nowhere, Kane came out and chokeslammed everyone.
Segment Analysis: The action was good, it was actually nice to see the tag champs retain, but then WHY THE HELL DID KANE COME OUT AND DESTROY ALL OF THEM??? Was there seriously a point to that. Why not just job out your tag division even more. That was so dumb. Survey Says: 2/5
After re-capping the Eve stuff from last week, Eve came out. She said it isn't her fault men fall for her. She said men all over the world fall for her, and it isn't her fault. Men would die to be used by her. She told everyone to deal with it and left. Kelly confronted Eve backstage, but Eve laughed and left.
Smackdown Tag Time: Big Show/Sheamus vs Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry. Cody wanted to embarrass Big Show again, ripping on him for his Wrestlemania failures. This time he showed him losing to Floyd Mayweather. Cody tagged out to Henry immediately. Show speared Henry. Cody ran off. Sheamus tagged himself in, then hit the Brogue Kick on Henry for the win. What happened to you Mark Henry?
So Who Took Away That Goofy PG John Cena?
Rock came out to a HUGE ovation. Rock said he's covered in goosebumps because this feels so damn good. Rock said it may come as a shock to some, but he wasn't here every single week. Rock said he was born and created in the WWE, and if it weren't for the WWE, The Rock would never exist. Rock said that he is back, and if someone in the back wants to take it literally because he isn't here every week, he doesn't care because he respects the audience. They know that his heart and soul is in this business, and that he is here right now because he loves the WWE. Rock said he will always be a part of the WWE.
Rock said for years he used to think John Cena was a phony. He said there was no way a guy from a private school could be a Doctor of Thuganomics. But he said Cena isn't a phony. Rock said Cena has his cell phone number, and he can contact him anytime. But Rock doesn't want to talk to him, he wants to slap him with a piece of Kung Pow Chicken. Rock said Cena was a Kung Pow Bitch. Rock said Cena said he was going to fight for everyone in the back that wanted to be a professional wrestler. Rock said the only person that fights for you is you. People weren't fighting for him when he was a babyface and getting booed mercifully. Rock said while Cena fights for the wrestlers, he fights for the fans.
Rock said the fans are tired of Cena every night, but they aren't tired of being entertained. Rock lives to do that. Rock said when he came back, people started chanting Fruity Pebbles, and then his face was on a cereal box. Rock got the crowd to do a lady parts chant. Rock said the most entertaining thing Cena has done all year is change his jean shorts to camouflage. Rock said it works, because we can't find his balls anywhere. A missing balls chant broke out.
Cena came out. Cena said only The Rock could refer to him as Kung Pao Chicken. Cena said he came out here to tell him he's right, he is the guy who runs him down when he isn't here. Cena was going to run him down while he was here. Cena said everyone loves The Rock, and he did too, until he met Dwayne Johnson, who is an egotistical son of a bitch who wouldn't give a rats ass if the WWE closed tomorrow. He said eh doesn't need his promo notes on his wrist either. Cena said April 1, he is lining up Dwayne Johnson, and he doesn't like Dwayne Johnson. He may be looking at a dude who doesn't have balls, but he is looking at a dude who is going to beat the hell out of him at Wrestlemania.
Rock said it was like Cena to come out, talk shit, and walk away before he can slap his lips off his face. Rock said he is the same man no matter where. Rock said Cena isn't tough. Rock said that at Wrestlemania, Cena is going to get his ass kicked, if you smell what he is cooking.
Segment Analysis: I told you this weekend that Rock's response needed to be on this week, and you know what? It wasn't. As a matter of fact, for the second week in a row, Cena owned The Rock. And you could tell by the end of that promo that Rock was flustered by Cena. Rock looked like he wanted to knock Cena out for calling him out on his lines. You could cut the tension between those two with a knife.
When Cena isn't smiling like a jackass and is serious, he delivers. He did it again this week. The one thing about this feud is that it feels real. It feels like these two guys really don't like each other. Cena saying he is fighting for the guys in the back is partially true. Not a lot of the current guys like The Rock. Rock has the fans and that is about it.
Rock was typical Rock, having the crowd in the palm of his hand. But Rock didn't really get to the points that Cena brought up last week. He skirted around most of it and then just got the crowd into it even more to get them back into the promo. It was good, but it wasn't one of Rock's best outings. One thing is definitely for sure: If these two keep going at each other like they have the past two weeks, we are in for one hell of a build heading into Wrestlemania. Survey Says: 3.5/5
OVERALL
I thought that was a pretty good show, with a strong opening and closing promo. It did a good job of promoting both matches and Wrestlemania. I gave my breakdown on Rock/Cena, and I think Jericho/Punk was just as good. While Cena/Rock brings the flash and the catchy phrases, Punk/Jericho brings the seriousness and the right to call each other the best in ring worker in the WWE. The rest of the show was average. Having Kane destroy the tag title match competitors was beyond stupid. The Smackdown stuff didn't mean much and the Eve stuff was weird. I'm giving the show a 7.
NFL Off-Season Preview, the AFC West Edition tomorrow.
And remember kids, if Eve throws herself at you, just say yes. If you turn her down you lose your manhood and are ridiculed. If you accept, you lose your manhood and are praised.
Until Next Time,
Justin C
Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka
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