RAW is 3 hours tonight, which usually means 3 hours of torture. But I will fight through it to give you my review here.
What A Bunch of False Advertising
John Cena came out for the contract signing. When Brock Lesnar's music played, John Laurinaitis came out. He said Brock isn't here yet and they will do it on Brock's terms when he arrives. Laurinaitis also instructed Teddy Long to tell John Cena to leave the ring. John Laurinaitis started welcoming the people to RAW when Edge came out. Edge said he came out to talk to John Cena. Edge said he came to talk to the John Cena that was the greatest rival in this industry. The John Cena that beat Edge in his match at TLC. Edge said he doesn't know where that John Cena went. Edge said Cena can't lose to Brock. All Cena has ever want to do was this. Edge said Brock Lesnar doesn't give a damn about anything unless it can line his pockets. Edge said if Cena doesn't wake up then its a slap in the face to everyone who loves this business. Edge said he isn't going to ask John Cena to beat Brock Lesnar, he's telling him too.
Segment Analysis: The WWE hyped the contract signing to start the show, but when you look back you knew they wouldn't and will try to keep viewers for the remainder of the show. The Edge surprise was good. He told it to Cena like it is and said pretty much if you don't beat him you have nothing left. Cena sold the message well and Edge delivered it well. Survey Says: 3.5/5
Wait A Minute, A Wrestling Match Now Too???
Kofi vs Y2J. The two exchanged some offense before Kofi hit a couple of hip tosses. Kofi tossed Jericho to the outside. Kofi applied an armbar before Jericho caught Kofi with a thumb to the eye. Jericho hit a clothesline in the corner then applied a headlock. Jericho then hit some kicks in the corner. Jericho charged at Kofi in the corner but Kofi moved. Jericho went to the outside, then Kofi hit a swanton to the outside heading into commercial. Back from break, Jericho had Kofi in a headlock which Kofi fought out of. Jericho hit a bulldog. Jericho missed a Lionsault which allowed Kofi to fight back, but Jericho caught him with a clothesline for two. Kofi caught Jericho with his corner kick, then a high crossbody and SOS for two. Kofi then hit a back crossbody on Jericho, and the Boom Drop. Kofi escaped a Walls of Jericho attempt. He went for a springboard off the top rope, but Jericho caught him with a Codebreaker. He applied the Walls of Jericho and Kofi tapped.
Jericho said afterward that the win was proof that he will be the WWE Champion after Sunday. He ran down Punk's family and said that Punk will receive an extreme beating from him. And Jericho bought Punk a gift he will give him later tonight.
Segment Analysis: Good match between these two. It was very similar to the match I saw at a house show a few weeks back. Both men are good workers and they can definitely go in the ring. Jericho looks strong again heading into Extreme Rules, and again, Jericho gives a hook to keep the viewers tuned in. That's smart of them. Survey Says: 3.5/5
John Laurinaitis asked Eve to be his Executive Administrator, then they replayed Lesnar's promo from last week. C.M. Punk then showed the gift Jericho got him, which was a liquor basket. He gave it to Josh Matthews.
Lord Tensai crushed R-Truth with his normal offense. They need to do something to get the crowd interested in him, fast.
Who's Kane's Real Daddy?
Kane came out and said Extreme Rules is his favorite night of the year. Kane said Orton can't beat him, and Orton is struggling knowing that Kane found his weakness. Kane said Orton is a scared little boy, and he will never be the monster he is. Randy Orton showed up on screen. He said he had to return the favor to Kane. They showed Paul Bearer. Orton threw him in a freezer. Kane said his real father is the Devil himself, and that he doesn't care what happens to Paul Bearer. Kane was leaving and Orton came out and attacked. He hit Kane with a pipe as Kane escaped through the crowd.
Segment Analysis: It wasn't a terrible Kane promo, but it did nothing to get me into this program. I just want it to end. Nice to see a Paul Bearer sighting though. Survey Says: 2/5
Backstage, Alex Riley told Chris Jericho that Punk kicked him out of his locker room, but Riley saw Punk drinking. They peaked in the locker room and saw Punk "drinking" out of a red solo cup with the bottle of Jack Daniels next to him.
Khali Selling From Last Week? WUT DAH HELL?
Tag match time. Big Show/Great Khali vs Cody Rhodes/Alberto del Rio. Khali out powered Cody Rhodes before he tagged in ADR. Del Rio hit a kick on Khali's bad leg, but Khali threw Del Rio into the corner then chopped his chest. Del Rio went to the outside into commercial. Khali made the hot tag to Big Show. Cody pulled the rope down and Show went to the outside. Cody hit a couple kicks to Show's knee. Big Show got back in the ring at 9. Cody and Del Rio took turns working over Big Show. Cody eventually locked in a Figure Four leg lock. Show fought out with a punch. Del Rio went to attack Big Show, but he bailed. Khali hit the head chop and Big Show hit the chokeslam for the win.
Segment Analysis: The match was nothing pretty, but at least it had decent psychology with both heels working over Big Show's legs. I really hope Show and Khali don't end up Tag Team Champions. Survey Says: 2.5/5
Jericho told Laurinaitis he saw Punk drinking and Laurinaitis told Teddy to give Punk a breathalyzer in the middle of the ring.
Brock Lesnar attacked Josh Matthews for asking him what would happen if he loses Sunday. Back from break, Josh Matthews was being stretchered out.
Eve made Beth Phoenix vs Nikki Bellas a Lumberjill Match. Beth rolled her ankle. Nikki Bella caught Beth with a roll up to become the Divas Champion. Don't know if the injury was a work or not.
Saying the Alphabet=Ratings
They showed C.M. Punk backstage. Teddy Long told him about the field sobriety test. He appeared drunk. Back from break, Teddy Long was in the ring with two cops. Chris Jericho came out because he said he didn't trust Teddy Long. C.M. Punk came out and staggered to the ring. He had trouble getting on the ropes. Punk again called the thing ridiculous. The cop asked Punk to say the alphabet backwards. He screwed that up. Punk couldn't walk in a straight line either. The one cop said it was evident Punk was drunk. Teddy Long asked Punk to hand over the WWE Title. Punk gave the Title to Long, but asked for one more chance. He recited the alphabet backwards and walked the line. He screwed up S & T. After "A" he hit Jericho with the mic and attacked him. Jericho retreated.
Segment Analysis: It was a dumb segment but Punk made it entertaining. Punk ending the segment on top makes you think Jericho might have a chance Sunday. This storyline has been done very well and I'm expecting another good match this Sunday. Survey Says: 3/5
A Real Referee! Yes!
Sheamus took on Mark Henry, with Daniel Bryan as the special guest referee. Sheamus worked over Henry in the corner. Sheamus somewhat shoved Bryan away. Bryan begged Sheamus to hit him. As Bryan distracted Sheamus, Henry axe handled him and Bryan fast counted the pin, giving Henry the win. Bryan threw the shirt off and Sheamus attacked. He hit the Brogue Kick on Henry, but then Bryan took out Sheamus leg and applied the YES Lock on him.
Segment Analysis: Daniel Bryan is over, and you know that he is going to get cheered heavily at Extreme Rules. Bryan is doing a great job right now. You almost have to feel bad for Sheamus. He did nothing wrong and he's now the one losing cheers. Survey Says: 2.5/5
Santino and Zack Ryder beat Primo and Epico. Ryder jobbed, Santino did his hip toss, head butt, Cobra for the win.
Kane got Paul Bearer out of the freezer, then put him right back in.
Brodus Clay and Hornswoggle vs Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger. In a match sponsored by Taco Bell tacos. The match ended with Vickie slapping Brodus Clay, causing a DQ. Vickie then got her ass bit by Hornswoggle. Yeahh no.
Was Brock Late Practicing His Promo? It Didn't Help...
John Laurinaitis came out for the contract signing. Brock Lesnar came out, but no John Cena this time. Lesnar asked Laurinaitis why he brought him to Detroit if John Cena wasn't going to show up. Lesnar told Laurinaitis they had some business to take care of. Lesnar said he had some business requests Laurinaitis would have to sign off on. Those included Lesnar having a word in all decisions, Vince's jet shipping him to RAW, Lesnar shows up when he wants and how he wants, no fines and more money for Lesnar. Until these demands are met, there is no match at Extreme Rules. Brock Lesnar said the new name for the show must also be "Monday Night RAW staring Brock Lesnar." Laurinaitis agreed to everything, then Lesnar signed the Extreme Rules contract.
John Cena came out with a chain around his neck, similar to his rapper gimmick one. Lesnar said he can feel that Cena is scared. Cena signed the contract and threw it at Lesnar. They circled the table, Brock left and the show ended.
Segment Analysis: Well, that was long, and not very good. Lesnar was never a good promo, and that promo, well, showed it. He stumbled over his words and kept repeating the same thing over and over again. That is why Lesnar had Paul Heyman during his original run. The WWE knows they can't have Lesnar talk that long. Everything after the stupid demands was fine, but it was just very awkward in the beginning. The build to Lesnar/Cena was still good, but this segment hurt it more than helped sell it. Survey Says: 2/5
This show was a mixed bag. The Edge promo at the beginning was good, as was the Kofi/Y2J match. The Punk/Y2J build was good. The end contract signing served its purpose at the end but the beginning was just painful to watch. Everything else just seemed like filler. Nothing stood out on the show at all. It did nothing to help the Extreme Rules buys if you ask me. I would rather have a 3 hour RAW at least have a theme then just seem like a stretched out regular episode of RAW. It wasn't fun watching for 3 hours. I'm giving the show a 4. If the WWE is trying to kill all of Lesnar's heat right away, they did a decent job tonight.
I will have my Extreme Rules Preview up later this week.
And remember kids, try to perfect saying the alphabet backwards by the time you get to college. It can help a lot on those late nights of studying, or partying. One of those two.
Until Next Time,
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